Recently, the position of beer columnist for The Bollard came open.  We like beer, and we like to write about it.  We sent an application letter. Here’s the gist:

We’re writing to apply for the position as beer columnist(s) at The Bollard. We're the Beer Brothers, Pete and Jeff Lyons. We're tour guides (Portland Maine Walking Tours), long-time greater Portland residents, Portland History Docents, avid beer drinkers, English teacher (Jeff), and beer blogger in the early Portland beer scene days (Pete).

In our work as tour guides, we're on the front line of the beer and the food experience in Portland. We can tell readers about the breweries, bars, beers, and restaurants that leave customers with a good feeling. We can help readers avoid pitfalls.

It's beer, not life and death; we'll have fun with it.

If we ever write more than two consecutive sentences that include specific gravity, fire us as quickly as if you'd just learned we'd tried to pass off the Gettysburg address as our original work. We're writers and storytellers, not scientists. We'll connect with your readers.